Changes
by EndEmi
Summary: Is the life Desmond living the one he really want to? Is everything that's happening really true? Can changes be a good thing? Following the storyline of the games.
1. Changes can be a good thing

A/N: It was going to be longer but something told me it was better to stop where I did. It may come more chapters, as individual pieces of the same storyline. Who knows.

 **Changes can be a good thing**

Going from here to there had always irritated Desmond. He didn't like changes, sometimes they were needed, but often they were just an excuse to stir things up and to no avail.

The changes in Desmond's life up until so far had been necessary. But if anyone asked he couldn't say they were bad. The Farm was a no go, had been for a long time but he hadn't had the courage to do something about it.

When he finally had run away, it had been a good change. Felt like he could do everything, like he was free for the first time in his life. 17 and finally started living. The second thing that changed was his living situation, that he got an apartment, a job, a girl that he saw on a regular basis but really had no commitment to. Things were good, changes were good. And he would continue to think that changes were good until his past came back to haunt him.

Getting kidnapped and help prision by Abstergo was not a good change, it was the most humiliating and infuriating change that could have happened. It was on the verge of being as bad as if the assassin's had found him. And it turned out in a later state that they had.

He suspected something was off with Lucy from the start, she looked at him as if she felt sorry for him, as if she didn't mean anything she said. As if she had a secret. She did have a secret, not one that he enjoyed, one that he despised almost as much as he had come to despise the templars. She was an assassin.

The change from lying in a machine all days long to suddenly running and fighting for real, was an uplifting one. It was a change he had yearned for, a change that his mind needed, a change that was as much good as it was terrifying.

Not only that, now he had started to see glimpses of things he shouldn't. Hear things that was long gone. He had acquired the eagle vision, and with it some information and deeds of subject sixteen. Desmond didn't say he blamed the guy, heck he would certainly had gone the same way if he'd stayed at the farm. Now it was another situation, sure he was a puppet of Vidic and the Abstergo, but God be damned if he was letting himself be manipulated. Forcing him to change, no way in hell. He and he alone was to make that choice, and no one, not even Lucy with he sweet looking lips and tempting words could get him to do something he didn't want to.

Later, Lucy would accuse him of working with the templars, that he wanted to be manipulated, that it was so easy for him. But she was wrong. Sure he never made an attempt to run, but he figured pretty quickly that it would be pointless. And after Lucy had cooled down, she admitted that it had been better, that when he never made an attempt to escape, that it made their way out easier.

Desmond knew that their mission, to find the Apple of Eden, the Artifact was more important that anything he had ever done. Altair had often spoken of a truth, a knowledge that lay far beyond their imaginations and it could just be what they knew now, but Desmond had the feeling it was something more. Something they hadn't grasped yet. They needed to know more, and that more came with his ancestors. So when Lucy told him it was time to leave, he didn't resist. He knew that this, whatever 'this' was, had something deeper to it, and it was his destiny to find out what. And that resulted in going with Lucy to meet Shaun and Rebecca, to continuing what they had started. To find the missing artifacts, to save the world.

To do that, he must be willing to change.

And he was ready for it.


	2. Away from it all

**Away from it all**

Lying in the trunk of a car wasn't really what Desmond had in mind when Lucy told him they were getting out of there. Sure he wasn't as useful as he had hoped, but who could blame him. He wasn't an assassin, not like Lucy was. She had embraced this life, wanted it. She lived and fought and believed in the creed on another level than Desmond. He had just wanted a way out. Away from it all, away from everything he couldn't stand. From the lies and the truths. It was some hours before they would be at the secret hideout, and during that time, Desmond had a lot to think about. Was this another kidnapping and manipulation against his will, was the only difference between Lucy and Vidic that Lucy had acted as if he had a choice? What choice. Choosing between Abstergo or the assassin's wasn't what Desmond would call a choice. It was almost like 'do you wanna die or do you wanna go insane' Not really certain if either was tempting…

He knew if the assassin's continued to operate as they did before, he would be fried meat within the year. Or in the hands of the templars once again and then he would without a doubt end up like subject sixteen, end up with his blood all over the room. He wanted to trust Lucy, wanted to believe what she told him about their operation was true and that it was nothing like before. But changes was still a hard thing, and something he needed to work on. That included trusting people again. He had known Lucy now for a time, he was not sure he knew the real her, but as much as she was willing to give at least.

So he wanted to trust her. That's one of the reasons he followed her when she told him to. One of the reasons he got in that trunk and was willing to lie still as they traveled to God knows where to meet God knows who, that would continue this. For the assassin's. Sometimes Desmond wondered if the only reason he allowed himself to be manhandled like this, was because he was still insecure. Still didn't know what exactly he wanted in life. He had struggled after he ran away to find his own identity. To know who he was and what he wanted from life. On the farm it had only been one thing, working for the assassin's. They had talked about the templars, told them about the scary organisation that was out for their heads. And Desmond hadn't believed in it one word. It was all stories to scare the children, tales they told to keep them at bay and to keep them in line, to get them to keep fighting for the creed.

So when the templars had come for him, when everything suddenly became real, he wasn't sure what to do. No reason to resent them, they only did what the assassins had done for years. He thought it would be better.

Now in hindsight, he admitted how wrong he had been. Hearing about the guy before him was one thing, but seeing the evidence all over the floor and walls. It seriously irked him. Made him sick to what these people and their machine could do, what would become of him. So when Lucy offered him a way out, he didn't hesitate to take it. Who cared if it would be the same, he didn't have any other ways to go. And with Lucy he felt compassion, he knew she would never turn out like Vidic, she had a heart and friends. Not resentfulness and underlings. He knew things would be different with her and the others, the assassin's.

They had a goal, and they would reach it together.

Changes or not.


	3. New Family

**New family**

Desmond was not in a good mood when Lucy finally opened the trunk to the car. His mood became eve fouler when the first thing that came out one of his 'new friends' mouth was practically an insult. Yes they had work to do, but christ give him a break? The new people presented themselves as Rebecca and Shaun, he already knew that but didn't say anything about it. Especially that Shaun seemed particularly hostile towards him. Lucy had mentioned something about being away for about seven year, and Rebecca seemed to be the only one happy to see her friend again. What was that guy's problem.

They did as Shaun said and got to work, well at least Rebecca did. She talked on and on about her 'baby' the animus 2.0, she had built from parts and information they had received from Abstergo. When she said 'received' Desmond was 100 percent sure they were stolen, but it wasn't as if he cared. Trying to make small talk with Rebecca and Lucy seemed fruitless, his head was already so tired from the drive that listening to the girl talk only made things worse. He slowly pulled further away from the two, towards Shaun that was sitting head down at his desk, pretending to ignore him as he approached.

Desmond had played this game before, he wasn't stupid. He knew that this 'I'm ignoring you because I want you to go away' never worked on him. Most people told him it was because he was dumb, but Desmond knew fully well what he was doing. It irked most people, and he wouldn't claim that this brit didn't irk him too. But that's the reason he did it. So standing behind the man and watch him struggle with his temper was the most hilarious thing he had done in years. Desmond even threw in a little 'throat clearing' just to irritate Shaun even more. Finally the guy snapped, and Desmond had a hard time keeping himself from snickering as the brit reined down insults and innuendos and sarcasm on him. Sure they hurt a little, but he had decided from the start that he would live here, not just survive. Not as at Abstergo. And by that he knew not to let these people or his ancestors affect him.

The time he spent in the animus 2.0 was nothing like the time he spent at Abstergo. First of all it was way more comfortable, the memoried was incredibly more vivid and it actually felt like he was inside Ezio's head, not just watching from a distance. The work with the new crew however, was a bit harder.

Desmond realised pretty quickly that because he was the new one around, his only purpose was to do as he was told and stay out of the way, at least if you asked Shaun. And when he wasn't in the Animus, he was pretty much useless. But here he felt like they were doing something meaningful, even though the days was the same.

But for him, they were the new ones, the people he must learn to cooperate with, to function around. But no one around seemed to think that was a problem, except him. And maybe Shaun. Maybe it was just his insecurities again, the ones he never told out loud so of course no one knew. But the days when he didn't lay every waking hour in the animus he felt totally useless and Shaun was quick to remind him about the fact.

It hurt, sometimes more than others. He admitted that he deserved some of the jabs the other threw his way. When Desmond was so bored he had nothing else to do than irritate the englishman. From Shaun's perspective it surely was irritating on purpose, but if you asked Desmond he just wanted to talk to the man.

He'd do anything from going insane, and it helped when focusing on someone that he couldn't confuse for the projections that on occasion ran through the room. It was worse when Shaun did his 'if I don't answer you, you do not exist' game and completely ignored Desmond. So he asked questions, he pointed on things on the screen, told him about Ezio, about Leonardo. He told him anything he thought Shaun would deem important for their mission, just to get the man to listen, to answer.

More often than not Shaun boiled over at him, told him to not so kindly 'piss off' and go disturb some other person that actually cared what Desmond had to say. He couldn't count anymore how often Shaun had called him a 'twat' or 'tosser' or any other britishness he would come up with on the go. And when Desmond finally gave up and left him alone, it was not without a sting of disappointment he listened to Lucy talk to him about something or another.

Desmond didn't want to admit it, to himself or anyone else for that matter, that he was getting pretty fond of Shaun's pissy attitude, his hard snears whenever he looked at the man. It grew on him, not that he wanted a friend, but he felt that he could be more of himself around the brit. Lucy was still great, she was kind and patient. Rebecca was more of a wild card, more unpredictable and smug. But he strongly liked both of them.

He liked them all, but he still didn't trust them. Not with the truth, not with everything that was going on in his head. The machines could only see so much. They couldn't decipher his feelings and not Ezio's feeling either for that matter. It couldn't read when his heart was tearing into pieces over seeing his family hanged in the town square. Not his family but Ezio's, by now he was so deep down that it surely felt like his family. It felt like he wanted to die with them, he felt rage and sadness and didn't want to talk to either Lucy or Rebecca when getting out of the animus. Shaun made a jab about he just being a pissy brat and that they should just leave him alone. That was the first time Desmond got angry.

Really angry, he felt hurt. It wasn't fair. Shaun had no idea how it was in there how every time he went down he felt what Ezio felt, just like he had felt Altair. That everyone around him kept dying and it was because of him, that he didn't know how to fight but it was the only thing he ever did. Fight for his right to live, for his right to be himself. Fight for the right to be free, to not change.

That was the scariest part, to change. He didn't want to suddenly wake up one morning and not recognizing the room he was in or the people around him. He was afraid, so afraid all the time and no one understood.

But he never said any of these things. Never said a word to either of them.

When Shaun had said he was just a prissy brat, he glared at the man, spat out a 'you'r a dick Shaun' and left the room in wide strides. Leaving a stunned crew behind.

He didn't want to change, didn't know what would happen if he did, when he did.

He was afraid and that scared him the most.


End file.
